Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
