her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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