If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you would pick up someone in the library
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
