Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
