In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My Sexting was not on an AP level
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize