we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
