hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
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