CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
