my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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