Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
