so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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