If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
