what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
