her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
