My pussy is not your playground.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
