Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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