i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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