it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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