I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I enjoy the company of your penis
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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