Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
