woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
