i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
