I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
