I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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