This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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