Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
