dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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