Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
