Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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