i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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