Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Can I color on your dick again?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
