There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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