ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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