YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My balls are so social today.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
