butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize