my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize