Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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