ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
