We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
