I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
