You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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