I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
