grandma shit on top of the toilet
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
