Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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