I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i think my cat just said my name.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
