I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
