I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
