When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
