FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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