And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize