We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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