You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think people are normalizing furries
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
