Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
