I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize