What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
