R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
