piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
