Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
soo... how was my night?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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