You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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