If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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