Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
