I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
How external is "for external use only"?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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