Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
