My entire life is one complicated drinking game
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
