Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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