Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
