Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
