Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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