I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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