It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
