to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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