dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
