I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
