but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
