I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
