The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
